If I was Betty...I would have a #madeinchelsea guilty pleasure

When I first decided to purchase a property that I could call home and that would have me indebted to an English bank until 2032, I never dreamt it would be anywhere near somewhere posh!

Having stayed in Fulham since moving to London, it seemed only logical to find somewhere permanent in the borough I'd become familiar with. A new build option came up. Plot number 30 was perfect and as I was turning thirty at the time it appeared to be a sign!!

Now finding decent men in London is considerably harder than you'd think. Either you find shy work guys, pushy local Londoners or foreign boys who remind you of home! I was hoping for something in-between...smart but fun, casual but cool! And then I moved in next door to Chelsea!!

Well you can't blame a girl for trying. I've always ended up with guys I've always ended up supporting financially, I was curious what it would be like to have someone treat me for a change. (Admittedly it won't keep my attention for long, I'm not one for daily being spoilt, but the odd romantic surprise won't go a-miss!)

But oh how I've had to bite my lip, and not seductively I might add.

I tried out a few local pubs on the water and wow don't those Chelsea brats stand out. Not sure I could even do spoilt posh brat.

For this reason, I find it rather hard to explain why I'm so terribly addicted to #madeinchelsea. Undeniably the boys are rather handsome or am I supposed to say "lush"? But they are also so incredibly awkward around girls, which appeals to the cute impulse reaction

Honestly I don't think I'll ever be at risk of joining those in the Chelsea set or falling for a rich little stud but oh what a fun guilty pleasure!!

If I was Betty... I'd try blogging from my iPhone app

Come on woman get with the technology....

OK, the move to an iPhone was an impulsive decision but not without some form of logic. I want GPS and I wanted better Facebook! See, totally reasonable!

And yes although I dreaded the idea of a touch screen, I must admit I do like all the fun goodies it can do. My biggest loss however is my BBM. The little thing that enabled the youth to immobilise so effortlessly during the recent London riots, is the thing I miss the most. Thankfully I've found a suitable app and have persuaded the BBM friends back home to join so we can continue with weekly gossip sessions.

I've taken this one brave step forward to blogging. I've been rather slack on the blogging front, apparently a new job were you actually have to work means I'm less likely to bother turning on my laptop when I get home at night.

But perhaps my super duper handy new toy will make blogging just that more accessible.

If I was Betty...I might start writing my blog again

Well it's been a while since I last logged into my blog and frankly it was quite a mission, considering all the variations on passwords etc that we have to remember in our 'modern' lives.

Anyway I back....

And so much has changed since I last wrote.

Firstly, after much consideration about trying to accept that my career here in London is that of a PA and that although I will always be a conservationist in my heart, that it's time to engage fully in my 'new' career. The only way to prove to myself that I could do this work was to get another job. I'd become comfortable in my first PA role and was easily able to handle the challenges thrown at me. It was time to head for the deep end. So, albeit it rather hesitantly, I applied for some PA roles, got an interview (or in this case 3 at the same company) and landed myself a new PA position. Of all things within in a financial company, who would ever have thought! But I hope to aspire to be a PA or Executive Assistant one day for a Conservation organisation, academic faculty or Charity NGO perhaps.

Secondly, I'm making my house a home! I took the plunge and have started decorating my home in the way I always imagined but just hadn't had the confidence to do so. Thank you to my creative friend for looking at my ideas and giving me the encouragement on what I could do with my little home. Admittedly I should have bought a larger roller, painting with this little one is hard work! But fun never the less, the sense of achievement is addictive.

And thirdly, talking about a sense of achievement, although my running took a bit of a nose-dive during the last 2 months due to life (or sorting out a new job) getting in the way. I've hit the comeback road literally and figuratively with great determination. My run club coach has talked me into doing a 10K run in November and some how that seems like a massive mountain but deep down I know that it is all mind over matter. There is certainly no reason why I can't do it! So it's time for some personal training to kickstart the process and then I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things. Wish me luck!

So here's to blogging again...regularly!

If I was Betty...I would be proud of climbing stairs

Perhaps you have wondered how the running was coming along. Well this determined tortoise is definitely on the up and up! One of the first sessions that I had at Run Club involved running intervals up and down a flight of stairs. And boy did it suck! On subsequent sessions that have involved the stairs, I have progressed from looking like I want to puke to pacing myself beautifully and completing all the required intervals... Who would have thought that I could be so proud of myself for climbing a set of stairs, but it's one uphill battle that I have conquered. And a big thank you to my fellow Run Clubbers who seemed to be just as thrilled as I was at my achievement and of course finishing the interval set at the top of the stairs, our coach couldn't help himself...and yes he inspired me to do that Rocky air punch!!

If I was Betty...I'd re-start my wedding book

Congratulations to my cousin who has just announced his engagement. Although this will be his second marriage, I do hope this one is the one that will bring him happiness as the first one appeared to flawed by youth.

I have to wonder about how people react to engagements, when I was in my 20’s finding out a friends impeding nuptials was something that just gave me a dreamy look and made me even more excited at the idea that soon it would be my turn. And yes I was one of those girls who had a file/book with all the cut outs of rings, dresses and table settings. Nothing like having your colour palate and seating arrangements pre-organised. But now that I am in my 30’s, each engagement only serves to remind me that I am no where near that public commitment. As for wedding book, I tossed that in 2004 when I realised that the man I was dating at the time was the “one” and had accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to do the big wedding thing so no need to have a wedding book anymore. Ah the dreams we give up for love.

Look I’m not bitter, I’ve had my fair share of proposals over the years, they just have never amounted to the actual event. I’ve had men ask me to spend the rest of my life with them and I have said yes, but fate has had other plans.

Sitting on the couch on a Saturday evening accompanied by my cat, sipping red wine (rather cheap red wine LOL), I wonder if I should re-start my wedding book? One never knows if some suitable bachelor may come by and this time I’m going to insist on my fairytale wedding.  

If I was Betty...I'd go to Weddings

Right, so I haven't blogged in quite a while. I've not really had much to say really. But after all the Easter breaks and Bank Holidays, it's time to catch up don't you think?

Firstly, I have a tan......well it certainly has a long way to go to be anything near to the tan of my childhood but nevertheless I ensured that I overdosed on Vit D at every given opportunity. I do however have to apologise to those who may have walked past my patio garden only to be greeted by me in a bikini. Actually scrap that apology...you shouldn't be looking over my fence and after seeing me spread eagle in a bikini, I'm guessing you will never look over my fence ever again! Ah sweet revenge. But back to the tan, there is a faint but nevertheless noticeable increase in colour and I am no longer transparent!! Bring on Summer I say!

Although it was Easter, I tried really hard to dodge the temptation of the chocolate egg but in doing so fell head first into a lot of Ice Cream. Oh well the soul needs feeding doesn't it? And I'm still sticking to the fact that I can say I never had a choc egg this Easter!!

Of course the most anticipated day was always going to the Royal Wedding! And yes I was with the masses down in Hyde Park, I was that single girl sitting on her own watching the girl get her prince. Oh how sad!! Admittedly I did try and sit close to a group of people so that I didn't look like the obvious loser in the crowd, however I probably shouldn't have chosen a group of Chinese tourists...

However I wasn't going to let the fact that I was going to be attending on my own spoil the event, and I cheered and sang along with the crowd. The atmosphere was lovely and it was a beautiful wedding. With highlights being the crowds reaction as Kate took her place beside Wills in the Abbey at the same time the sun came out at Hyde Park - a massive cheer! I loved seeing Harry's cheeky little face as he looked back to see Kate coming up the aisle before smiling and whispering to Wills. Of course the talk on the ground was all about Harry getting it on with Pippa when everyone saw them walking together. I had wondered at the time if that would trend on Twitter and yes it most certainly did. Oh the public love their fantasy gossiping don't they?

Naturally I did a runner when it came to the big group slow-dance to Aerosmith, somehow I thought if I was walking around it won't be so noticeable that I was attending this wedding party alone. Besides dressed in a pair of jeans, sweatshirt and with no effort afforded to my hair or make-up, I wasn't exactly a candidate for pulling! But watching a wedding and seeing someone show their commitment of love is very special. A fairytale whether you become a princess or not, it's still the thing we all secretly dream about.

After heading home, trying to avoid stuffing the hole in my heart with another ice cream, I got home only to receive a phone call from my 'arrangement' guy. He was expecting to spend the coming weekend and week with me before heading off to Europe and essentially it being the end of the arrangement. I wasn't looking forward to saying goodbye! But anyway he was home in Devon, in order to attend his brother's wedding on Saturday. He hadn't ever invited me to this wedding. His main reason being he couldn't invite a girl to a wedding, she might get all soppy and romantic and of course that would mean she might fall in love with him, beside he didn't believe in marriage. It's amazing how many men say they don't believe in marriage. I think I may have to explore this further at a later stage. Back to the phone call..."Come down to Devon"...what?...I couldn't believe what I was hearing! He wanted me to come down to Devon and go to his brother's wedding with him. Joking stating that I would actually be going as his sister's plus one if anyone asked, that way he could avoid having officially taken a girl to a wedding!

Crap!! A wedding...short notice...outfit...hair...oh crap I've got to get a train!!! So having thrown everything out of my cupboards, trying to find that dress I wore to Ascot last year (the only smart dress I have that's not a LBD or an evening ballgown), shoes...I need to find shoes...ok knickers...oh the dread of wearing a cream dress, I need to special knickers!! GHD - check! Run Run Run... Needless to say that after pushing an old lady out of the way at Paddington, as I crested the top of the stairs - the last train to Devon pulled out! Bugger!!

To be honest, I was slightly relieved that I hadn't made the train, it meant that I could go home, do my hair and sort out the terribly chipped nail polish! I was up at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning and arrived in good time to take the train and head off to see my 'arrangement' guy. The wedding was lovely and it was great to see his family and friends again. I did well in not being the soppy romantic although I was dying to have a dance with him, which was nicely avoided as our lift had to leave early. I was really glad that I'd made the spontaneous decision to go down and see him. In all the excitement I had forgotten about the fact that the real reason it was so important to go down there, was that we could officially say goodbye! I know that we intend to remain friends, there's even the possibility of meeting up in Europe for a short weekend away but it's the end of the commitment part. Although we were officially never dating, as he said to me at the train station "You're the best girlfriend that I never dated ever", we were 'together' for 7 months and that does count for something. Look, I can't be a fool and hope that he would resist all temptation whilst touring for the next 6 months nor can I say that I might not find my prince charming standing on the crowded overground one morning, so to be realistic it was time we had to say goodbye. Yes, I'll admit that I cried all the way from Teignmouth to Paddington (well one good thing I can say about sobbing uncontrollably on a train, no one will bother to sit in the seat next to you!)

I don't do regrets, and I certainly have no regrets with this arrangement. I always knew he was going and we always knew we would have to call it quits at some point. I do believe though that neither of us had realised how hard it was going to be. I've had the most amazing 7 months. I've not felt this happy, content or had this much self-confidence since moving to London 5 years ago. For this I am eternally grateful!

If I was Betty...I'd collect as much sunshine as possible

Sunshine...glorious sunshine!!

You forget how much you enjoy the simple things in life until you spend a long cold winter without them. Thank goodness for that "Spring has sprung" feeling!!

Last week was a tough one by all accounts and it was only yesterday afternoon whilst sorting out my little greenhouse and watering the potted plants that life seemed normal again. There was nothing else to do but simply get out the blanket, sunglasses and a suitable book, then lay back and let the sunshine work it's magic on my body and more importantly my soul.

Here's wishing everyone a sunny soul week ahead!
(P.S Yes I know it's supposed to rain this coming Wednesday but shhh don't spoil the moment ok :) )

If I was Betty...I'd also be confident

Dita von Teese recently appeared in an episode of CSI and once again I was transfixed by her beauty and it's more than that it's the way she carries herself. Grace and poise, that sense of confidence which only comes from knowing that you are adored.

Frankly I'm not a girly-girl so friends that may have known me all my life, would never suspect my secret obsession with 1940's Pin-up Models! But there is just something about them that I find alluring. I don't claim to follow fashion, I am happy in a pair of jeans and t-shirt, so I don't believe it is the 1940's fashion that catches my eye but it is that grace and poise that I spoke of earlier. Admittedly after having tried on my first laced up corset in 2009, you will definitely see me walking around Black Rose and Darkside in Camden admiring them.

Ah <I can hear the penny drop> so that is why your blog is called "If I was Betty".

Indeed, Betty Paige is one of the most recognised faces of pin-up albeit for some of her more outrageous and 'way before her time' genre of photographs. But no matter if it's a coy bikini clad image to one showing her bound and gagged, there is always an air of confidence! .....And confidence is key!

If I was Betty....then I would blog about a phonecall

Right the self-pity moment is well and truly over, thanks to an international phonecall from my "arrangement" guy.

There was no need to tell him about the rough week that I was having because all those feelings disappeared at the sound of his laughter. Clearly my excitement/eagerness when answering the phone and almost falling off the couch, was audible in my "Hello you!"

So after 48mins of laughing about ...stuff... on the phone, all my cares and worries had evaporated!

Again I am reminded of the power that a friend can have in your life. Even if they don't know that you need cheering up, the most basic of human contacts can lift your spirit out of those murky depths.

If I was Betty...I won't feel so strangely angry today

Do you ever have those days (PMS excluded) when you just want to scream, lash out wildly...those days when you can feel every emotion in your body just boiling below the surface? Well I'm having one of those days today?

As usual there seems to be no rhyme or reason to this momentary madness, just that it happens and it's very real!

Could it be because I'd really hoped this Internet dating thing was going to be easy? The date number 1, didn't really spark. Hey when I don't even considering flirting with a guy then you know there is no spark whatsoever. Sad though, he was a damn good looking guy! Now I have resorted going back to the drawing board, I've sent a whole lot of random guys messages and now waiting to see what I get back. Heaven help me!

Could it be because I miss my 'arrangement' guy? I'm finding that I am missing him more and more, there is a distinct lack of company in my life. There was no one to enjoy the sunshine with or discuss the F1 on Sunday. Cooking a meal seems pointless unless someone is there chatting to you. And a lack of company means feeling like a Bertrand Russell poem.

That brings me to the 3 friends who have disappointed me in the last couple of months. OK who have hurt me in the last couple of months. I won't grovel to regain their acceptance but still I'm rather lost without them.

Admittedly I've also been sick recently, and I'm not someone who handles being sick very well. Confined to my flat all weekend when I really wanted to be out and about in the sunshine, seeing the boat race and going to a friend's birthday party, is a recipe for being angry with the world. I'm annoyed that I spent 3 hours in A&E only to be told "we're not sure, maybe go and see your doctor on Monday" and I'm annoyed that the doctor on Monday didn't have any answers either. In the meantime, I start to think of ever possible thing that could be wrong and that panic makes me feel even worse....where did I put the codeine?

OK so <slap slap> enough of this self-pity!! Just get on with it!!

If I was Betty...I'd go on an internet date (number 1)

Living in the big city has its problems, how do you meet the potential Mr Right?

Having been persuaded that sitting like an old Estella at the end of the bar, waiting to be bought a drink by some random was not the way to find my knight in shining armour, I decided I would have to get with the 21st Century and do some online dating.

Some of the responses/communications I have received haven't been appealing at all. However one stood out and I agreed to meet with him. On paper he seems to tick all those boxes that girls who are looking for Mr Long-Term Dependable have. We met up for a drink or two at my local pub. It was a lovely evening, one nice looking guy, the conversation had its ups and downs but there was something missing? That damn "spark"!

On the way home, I pondered why I hadn't even found myself remotely keen to flirt with him? And trust me I flirt with just about anyone...even the new security guy at the office gets my coyest good morning smile!

Perhaps my criteria are too perfect. Naturally having dated and had long term relationships, I've looked at the next guy not having any of the short comings that the others had but in doing so I seem to cut out the actual "type" of guy that I'm attracted to.

Right Bloggers, if any of you know or are a rugby planning business man or a farmer...then call me...my number is 555

If I was Betty...I'd be proud of running 6km

So this running thing...

Although Saturday's session had me huffing and puffing to the point of wanting to feed the fishes in the Thames, I decided to be the determined tortoise and stick with it. By the end of the session I was feeling more confident and decided that I would give the Tuesday road running session a go.

I must be mad right?

Tuesday rolls around and I'm feeling apprehensive, which quickly changed to terrified when the instructors announced that we would be doing a 6km loop!!

What? You must be joking?

Off we set and before I knew it we were at Wandsworth Bridge...oh my goodness I just ran from Putney to Wandsworth! And once we crossed back over Putney Bridge on the home straight to the coffee shop meeting point. There was one hell of a stupid grin on my face! I had done it! OMG I had just run 6km! They speak of "runners high" and wow I was high. The excitement was tangible and I think both instructors just had to laugh at the expression on my face.

I'll be back at RunClub on Saturday morning for some more...

Bring it on!!

If I was Betty...I'd join a running club

I must be mad....determined but mad nevertheless! For crying out loud, I'm built for comfort not speed!!

Well that has certain the excuse that I have stuck to for most of my adult life...

But determined to get fit - think back to those New Years resolutions - argh!! So I've joined a local running club, with my first session at 10am tomorrow morning.

Let's take a step back, and let you in on a secret...my crippling fear is making a fool of myself in front of people. It has been the main reason why I trend to hold back. Having read "Yes Man" by Danny Wallace back in 2009, I had promised myself that I would not turn down invitations just because I'd be scared that I might end up embarrassing myself. I do have to give myself a pat on the shoulder that I've really tried to embrace the fear and bold go...celiah dancing; dressed up for fancy dress parties; tried bowling; walking on icy surfaces (think Bambi on ice, OK!) and oh my goodness here it comes...group fitness!!

I hate the gym, and I mean haaaaate!! Firstly why are there never any other people with curves and layers of cuddle. Why do I always feel like the only chubby one there. Secondly, gyms are boring! After 10 minutes, I'm done! So after numerous years of wasted gym memberships - I've gone outdoors!

I love the outdoors. I used to have a outdoor job that required me to have a certain level of fitness but I've been office-bound for the last 4 years and boy do I miss feeling the elements (I was going to say sunshine but I live in London so no-one would ever believe that I'd be bathed in radiant sunshine!)

Originally I looked at the boot camp option but somehow the idea of someone shouting at me with the distinct purpose of shaming me into physically exerting myself, really really doesn't appeal. I know that I need the motivation but the pure fear would override any exercise induced adrenaline.

I happened to post a "help" query on this new local neighbourhood site (Streetlife) and received a pleasant response from a personal trainer who was keen to start up a local running club. So bravely...I joined!

Petrified I rushed down to the local Sports Direct to find a suitable pair of tracky pants and Nike support top...I've got a sports bra hiding somewhere in my cupboard. Right now I look the part, albeit my clothes look so new that I'm still going to look like the beginner. Oh who am I kidding, when they see me "run" they will all know this isn't my natural form of movement!!

Wish me luck! I'll keep you posted on my progress as I suspect my fingers might be the only part of my body that I will be able to move afterwards.

If I was Betty...I'd take a bold step

I've just read a blog that said the following: "Just because its not going my way doesn't mean its the wrong way"

Thank you, Being Brazen, for reminding me that sometimes we forget that there is a bigger picture, and although things seem to have gone wrong, a different direction is not necessarily a bad thing.

I've spent the last 6 months in an "arrangement" with a great guy. I say "arrangement" as we always knew that it won't turn into a committed relationship as he is a man about to embark on travels around the world. I'm 6 years older than him so there is no way I would stop him for going on what will be a once in a lifetime adventure. What we didn't realise was that at this point in both our lives we were exactly perfect.

Haven't had a traumatic break-up a number of years ago, I've been very reluctant to have men promise me anything because they lie (oh don't I sound slightly jaded!) But I'd put the idea of having a meaningful long term relationship in a distant corner of my mind and decided the best way to go about life was pretend to be Samantha from Sex and The City...

It was really hard saying goodbye. He has done wonders for my self confidence and frankly has gone a long way to restoring my confidence in the male species in general. Part of me is gutted that I actually find a guy who is just what I need and he has to leave because our lives are heading in two very different directions.

For a moment I felt like things had gone wrong again. There goes another great guy! But it's actually not a bad thing, with his help I've grown a lot over the last 6 months and the fact that he has left a space in my life encourages me to take that bold step and to go out there and find that long term relationship that I have wanted for so long.

If I was Betty, I'd start my New Years Resolutions in March...

So did you sit down with your pen and paper at New Years and dilgently write out your resolutions...the ones that you are definitely going to stick to this year?? Oh come on don't lie, you know you did!! We all do it. Every January we work out this magical plan of how our boring lives are going to be spiced up and transformed in the year ahead.

Here are the top 10:
1. Make some new friends
2. Decorate my flat
3. Learn to entertain/host
4. Get fit (learn to run!)
5. Practice my photography
6. Go on holiday somewhere sunny
7. Complete next Open Uni course
8. Start (and stick to) a blog
9. Get some fashion style
10. Find a long term boyfriend

Right, so it's March.....performance review time? Result....general fail!

Somewhere in my brain, an advert for weight-loss programmes and the proverbable "ah-ha" moment...the key is tracking what you are doing in order achieve results.

...and so.....point 8....Start a blog!!

If I was Betty, I'd be a blogger...

I'm not a creative writer, I only wish I was!

This is not the first attempt at starting a blog. I thought it was the done thing these days so why not give it a bash. But frankly I sucked. I think I might have been trying to hard to come up with things to write about. Something profound, yet amusing. Something thought provoking, yet easy for the "common" person to relate to. Argh.....boring!

My cousin is an amazing blogger, it's just fascinating looking at all her links, relevant interesting articles and witty banter. If you are looking for that please stop reading mine and check out hers instead!